Sholay by Quentin Tarantino

Now, this would be something. Shot as a quintessential “spaghetti western”, it is Sholay alone which can stand the mark of a Tarantino film.

Imagine the opening for one. You would find Gabbar talking away with Kalia, needlessly, aimlessly and without another warning, they jump on Thakur who stepped right out of the police station and chop his hands off. Bang!

And as they make their way out of there, Gabbar driving away and a handless Thakur in the passenger seat, whoopsie…Kalia died because his own gun went off and left a gaping hole in his balls!

Naturally, one can also expect Ennio Morricone to light up the scene musically, with a soundtrack expose from Once Upon a Time in the West or some other Italian movie masterpiece.

Not to mention the fact that the entire movie would be split into 4 chapters, each of around 30 minutes. Else it would not really be a Tarantino movie now, would it?

You would have Jai and Veeru drive along, talking about girls and guns, and then going into a house and “sweet talk murder” two guys, and leave — when suddenly Thakur would step out from nowhere and arrest them, preferably when either Jai and Veeru would be taking a crap.

And then let’s jump straight to the climax (and also do leave the proviso that the climax need not be the last chapter of the movie). Right out of the Jackie Brown character from Jackie Brown, we get to a Basanti arguing her life out with Gabbar, and you slowly, very slowly start to think, “Hookay! Time for something to happen.” Only that nothing does happen. And suddenly it is revealed that Jai is unconscious, tied to a chair in the middle of the freakin’ desert. And as a distraught Basanti tries to start taking of her clothes (who the hell ‘dances’ for pleasure in this day and age), BANG! Basanti is dead!

Apparently, Veeru had used his gun — not all that directly at Basanti, but well, his horse reared or something and the gun went off. Realizing that he made a boo boo, Veeru runs off to free a distraught Jai — and as soon as Jai is out of his chair and handed a gun, he shoots off Veeru for killing his girlfriend.

Even before Jai can take off after Gabbar for bringing Basanti into the whole picture in the first place, a shot goes out of nowhere and Jai falls to the ground, dead!

Gabbar cannot spot the shooter. Samba too falls off the cliff, dead, after another shot goes off from outta nowhere. Gabbar is petrified. He starts to run away, but even as he reaches the horizon, we hear another shot and Gabbar falls down dead.

Now we see Radha emerge from behind the cliffs. She had been taught her sniper prowess by Veeru, who had brought here there in the first place as a back-up, and what a back-up she turned out to be.

And finally, we see Thakur arrive on the scene and witness the entire multitude of deaths, when the final shot rings out and Thakur falls down dead. Radha is now the new ruler of the village, a woman’s true place in society. Thakur after all had no business keeping a woman tied to the house under a white shroud the whole day.

Quentin Tarantino’s fifteenth film — or whatever number we’re up for now.

Courtesy : Artpickles